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The game was simple, after she called jinx at the vending machine, he had to buy her her favourite drink. She preferred Dr Pepper but today she wouldn't get her fix. The vending machine was out, which meant he had to stay silent until he got her a Dr Pepper. There was no luck of course as no vending machines in the building had Dr. Pepper, so he was stuck at work and it would be three hours of silence till shift was over. Taking his last fifteen minute break he sat at his desk rummaging through the filing cabinet for his stress ball then headed to the break room.
The last month had been hard for him as his best friend who he was still in love with, was about to walk down the aisle the wrong guy. As he reminisced while crushing the stress ball in his hand, he was suddenly jerked back to reality by the sound of an object being placed on the table he sat at. It was a can of Dr Pepper.
"I haven't talked to you all day so I bought one off Amy from H.R" said Kayla. He half smiled and then reached into his pocket and pulled out a dollar, that he placed on the can and gave back both the can and dollar to her. He breathed out heavily letting his lips flap under the pressure of his own breath.
"Thanks, I was killing myself trying to find one" he said laughing. She smiled at him and then took a seat beside him. As their eyes met he thought of flash backs to days where they were so young and moments that impacted their lives and built their friendship so strongly but his feelings had bordered outside friendship for so long and he needed to let her know. It was in this moment he opened Pandora's Box.
"I'm in love with you" he said as he looked directly into her eyes. She lightly jolted, completely taken aback by what he said to her. She blushed and was at a total loss of words but she managed to speak in her bewildered state.
"I don't know what you expect me to say from that" she replied.
"I don't expect you to say anything, I expect you to just know" he said. He knew what he was doing would jeopardize their friendship but he didn't care because the bond of friendship to him was gone long ago and all there was was just love, unconditional for her but there was also pain and loathing for the fact that she was with someone else.
"I'm getting married Cory, does that not mean anything to you?" she said. She tried to clear her voice but it did her no good, her heart was racing and she breathed heavily to keep from hyperventilating. The situation came out of the blue and she didn't take awkward situations easily, which made it hard for her not only to breathe but to focus her thoughts.
"I'm not going to your wedding; I've put in my transfer and my last day is this Friday" He said. This was the first time he told of this as he requested for H.R to keep his transfer classified from all employees.
He couldn't allow himself to suffer through what he felt was a phony friendship that would never blossom into anything special. He needed to get away from her as he felt he was a liability. The thought of watching her walk down that aisle would have made him want to make a scene, which would forever engrave her wedding day in a negative matter.
"So that's it, your just going to walk out of my life?" she asked. She felt a surge of utter contempt for what he said.
"You don't understand what it's like Kayla, trying to be friends with someone you love, trying to hold back those feelings every time she smiles at you, looks at you joyfully, every hug shared. I've tried to compromise so badly with this. Then last years Christmas Party. When we kissed under mistletoe because you were so dame drunk and you insisted I kiss you. It made my feelings about you kick into overdrive. I don't want to be your friend Kayla. What I want is what I can never be to you. I'm sorry. He's not right for you and I know I sound like a total jackass saying that but he's not" he said.
There was long an awkward silence. He wasn't the only one who was at fault here about his feelings. She had also felt the exact same way about him. She never considered taking their friendship to the next level because she feared that if a fallout happened between them she would never be able to go back to being friends with him again.
Kayla took Cory's hand and held it palm to palm.
"You don't have to do this, we can find someway through this I know I can…" She was cut off when he got up to head back to work. He released his hand from her hold.
"Wait!" she yelled, the sobs began. He turned to look at her. She ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him so hard, pressing her lips against his with such force that he staggered back slightly. She wanted this kiss to be sign to him of just how much she needed him in his life. After a brief moment he pulled away to catch his breath but still held her. His cheek was a little wet from Kayla's tears that fell on him when they kissed. He looked at her. She didn't even need to speak as her eyes said it all; from I love you to please don't go. He leaned in and kissed her forehead then moved onto whispering into her ear.
"Goodbye Kayla" he said. Those were the last words he uttered to her as he broke away from her hug and closed the door to the break room as he left. She sat down on a chair and slowly drew into herself as she took a fetal position. It didn't take a second for the tears to come flooding out more and more, while she leaned her head down on her knees and the tears streamed down her legs. She cried her eyes out, alone and broken.
The last month had been hard for him as his best friend who he was still in love with, was about to walk down the aisle the wrong guy. As he reminisced while crushing the stress ball in his hand, he was suddenly jerked back to reality by the sound of an object being placed on the table he sat at. It was a can of Dr Pepper.
"I haven't talked to you all day so I bought one off Amy from H.R" said Kayla. He half smiled and then reached into his pocket and pulled out a dollar, that he placed on the can and gave back both the can and dollar to her. He breathed out heavily letting his lips flap under the pressure of his own breath.
"Thanks, I was killing myself trying to find one" he said laughing. She smiled at him and then took a seat beside him. As their eyes met he thought of flash backs to days where they were so young and moments that impacted their lives and built their friendship so strongly but his feelings had bordered outside friendship for so long and he needed to let her know. It was in this moment he opened Pandora's Box.
"I'm in love with you" he said as he looked directly into her eyes. She lightly jolted, completely taken aback by what he said to her. She blushed and was at a total loss of words but she managed to speak in her bewildered state.
"I don't know what you expect me to say from that" she replied.
"I don't expect you to say anything, I expect you to just know" he said. He knew what he was doing would jeopardize their friendship but he didn't care because the bond of friendship to him was gone long ago and all there was was just love, unconditional for her but there was also pain and loathing for the fact that she was with someone else.
"I'm getting married Cory, does that not mean anything to you?" she said. She tried to clear her voice but it did her no good, her heart was racing and she breathed heavily to keep from hyperventilating. The situation came out of the blue and she didn't take awkward situations easily, which made it hard for her not only to breathe but to focus her thoughts.
"I'm not going to your wedding; I've put in my transfer and my last day is this Friday" He said. This was the first time he told of this as he requested for H.R to keep his transfer classified from all employees.
He couldn't allow himself to suffer through what he felt was a phony friendship that would never blossom into anything special. He needed to get away from her as he felt he was a liability. The thought of watching her walk down that aisle would have made him want to make a scene, which would forever engrave her wedding day in a negative matter.
"So that's it, your just going to walk out of my life?" she asked. She felt a surge of utter contempt for what he said.
"You don't understand what it's like Kayla, trying to be friends with someone you love, trying to hold back those feelings every time she smiles at you, looks at you joyfully, every hug shared. I've tried to compromise so badly with this. Then last years Christmas Party. When we kissed under mistletoe because you were so dame drunk and you insisted I kiss you. It made my feelings about you kick into overdrive. I don't want to be your friend Kayla. What I want is what I can never be to you. I'm sorry. He's not right for you and I know I sound like a total jackass saying that but he's not" he said.
There was long an awkward silence. He wasn't the only one who was at fault here about his feelings. She had also felt the exact same way about him. She never considered taking their friendship to the next level because she feared that if a fallout happened between them she would never be able to go back to being friends with him again.
Kayla took Cory's hand and held it palm to palm.
"You don't have to do this, we can find someway through this I know I can…" She was cut off when he got up to head back to work. He released his hand from her hold.
"Wait!" she yelled, the sobs began. He turned to look at her. She ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him so hard, pressing her lips against his with such force that he staggered back slightly. She wanted this kiss to be sign to him of just how much she needed him in his life. After a brief moment he pulled away to catch his breath but still held her. His cheek was a little wet from Kayla's tears that fell on him when they kissed. He looked at her. She didn't even need to speak as her eyes said it all; from I love you to please don't go. He leaned in and kissed her forehead then moved onto whispering into her ear.
"Goodbye Kayla" he said. Those were the last words he uttered to her as he broke away from her hug and closed the door to the break room as he left. She sat down on a chair and slowly drew into herself as she took a fetal position. It didn't take a second for the tears to come flooding out more and more, while she leaned her head down on her knees and the tears streamed down her legs. She cried her eyes out, alone and broken.
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Ache: [link]
Sacrifice: [link]
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The recipe that is you: [link]
My Angel in Red: [link]
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Fiction Versus Reality: [link]
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Tragedy: [link]
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Comments6
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I've been following your writings for some time now, and they never cease to make me think, and wonder, feel terrible or sad or smile. But there is a recurring problem in your writing with grammatical and spelling errors, which are easy to fix, but very obvious if they are not. I think you should either take the time to read over your writings prior to posting them (which is tiresome and dull, I know. I am awful about it, myself. XD) or have someone just glance over it before you publish it. Someone that you know will point out the errors, instead of just saying they like or didn't like the piece. Sadly, it DOES detract from your work, and I would hate to see that continue. :/ I'm not trying to be mean about it, but it is distracting to find an incorrectly spelled word, and it takes time for the reader to go over again what you've written because a misplaced comma threw off your meaning.
A few examples I saw:
The game was simple, after she called jinx at the vending machine, he had to buy her, her favourite drink.
Here is a misplaced comma error, which results in a run-on sentence or a broken, garbled one. I think it would be clearer if you wrote something like, “The game was simple. After she called 'jinx' at the vending machine, he had to buy her favorite drink for her.” The doubled up words can be very confusing, I know. XD 'her her' and 'had had'. As a writer, it drives me crazy crazy. (Also, I just discovered, 'had had' and so on are actually grammatically correct without a comma!
[link] ) My natural reaction, as a writer, is to reword if I'm not sure, though. Clarity is key, afterall.
Taking his last 15 minuet break he sat at his desk rummaging through the filing cabinet for his stress ball then headed to the break room.
It's a minor misspelling, the word 'minuet' meant to be 'minute', but it's difficult to spot sometimes, because 'minuet' IS a word.. so if you use any spell check, it's not going to find it. Also in this sentence there is an absence of any kind of comma, and it's pretty long... You know? :/
...moments that impacted there lives and built their friendship
Haha.. Here is the common problem of their vs there. You had it right the second time, but you didn't go back to fix it the first time, you see?
The thought of watching her walk down that aisle would have made want to make a scene, which would forever engrave her wedding day in a negative matter.
If you read this aloud, you can tell how confusing it is, even if a few rereads lets you know what you MEANT to convey. But this detracts time and focus from your reader that should be aimed at your story. 'Would have made want to' should be 'would have made him want to'. Also, (and this is just a personal thing) I am having difficulty with your usage of the word 'negative matter'. Are we speaking of matter as in the physical and scientific presence of something tangible? Or are we speaking of 'a negative matter' as in a shroud of negativity around her wedding day? If it's the latter, I can't imagine it being even metaphorically engraved, if that makes any sense. It feels like a different phrase should have been used. But that's just personal style, I do believe. =3
“You don't understand what's like Kayla, trying to be friends with someone you love, trying to hold back those feelings every time she smiles at you, looks at you joyfully, every hug shared. I've tried to compromise so badly with this. “
Here we have “what's like”, which makes little sense to me, even taking into account if Cory slurs his words in vernacular patterns or something like that. And I've never heard someone say, 'compromise so badly'...but perhaps you've heard it before? :/ It just sounds a little off, and with dialogue it's important to take the most realistic approach to it, in my mind. As a fellow writer, I want my readers to be able to 'hear' the dialogue in their head in a believable way.
There was long an acquired silence..
I've never acquired silence...did you intend to use an uncommon word here, in order to draw a unique picture? Or did you mean something else?
...a foetal position.
I think you mean 'fetal' here...
Anyways, I say again that I am not intending to sound mean. I DID enjoy the emotional aspects of this story. I just think that it would be a lot more enjoyable if it had been read over a couple of times with the intention of correcting these common errors. Especially when I was starting to get serious about my writing, I made friends with people who were willing to give me an honest scouring of my work, in order to correct my mistakes. I still make TONS of grammar errors, but they're usually habit, personal style, or overlooked by the common reader. =3 I would love to see these little smudges vanish from your work, in order to let it gleam a bit brighter. I see that this is a recurring problem in your works, and I truly think that you will get more attention once these errors have been vanquished. =3 Thanks for posting this!
A few examples I saw:
The game was simple, after she called jinx at the vending machine, he had to buy her, her favourite drink.
Here is a misplaced comma error, which results in a run-on sentence or a broken, garbled one. I think it would be clearer if you wrote something like, “The game was simple. After she called 'jinx' at the vending machine, he had to buy her favorite drink for her.” The doubled up words can be very confusing, I know. XD 'her her' and 'had had'. As a writer, it drives me crazy crazy. (Also, I just discovered, 'had had' and so on are actually grammatically correct without a comma!
[link] ) My natural reaction, as a writer, is to reword if I'm not sure, though. Clarity is key, afterall.Taking his last 15 minuet break he sat at his desk rummaging through the filing cabinet for his stress ball then headed to the break room.
It's a minor misspelling, the word 'minuet' meant to be 'minute', but it's difficult to spot sometimes, because 'minuet' IS a word.. so if you use any spell check, it's not going to find it. Also in this sentence there is an absence of any kind of comma, and it's pretty long... You know? :/
...moments that impacted there lives and built their friendship
Haha.. Here is the common problem of their vs there. You had it right the second time, but you didn't go back to fix it the first time, you see?
The thought of watching her walk down that aisle would have made want to make a scene, which would forever engrave her wedding day in a negative matter.
If you read this aloud, you can tell how confusing it is, even if a few rereads lets you know what you MEANT to convey. But this detracts time and focus from your reader that should be aimed at your story. 'Would have made want to' should be 'would have made him want to'. Also, (and this is just a personal thing) I am having difficulty with your usage of the word 'negative matter'. Are we speaking of matter as in the physical and scientific presence of something tangible? Or are we speaking of 'a negative matter' as in a shroud of negativity around her wedding day? If it's the latter, I can't imagine it being even metaphorically engraved, if that makes any sense. It feels like a different phrase should have been used. But that's just personal style, I do believe. =3
“You don't understand what's like Kayla, trying to be friends with someone you love, trying to hold back those feelings every time she smiles at you, looks at you joyfully, every hug shared. I've tried to compromise so badly with this. “
Here we have “what's like”, which makes little sense to me, even taking into account if Cory slurs his words in vernacular patterns or something like that. And I've never heard someone say, 'compromise so badly'...but perhaps you've heard it before? :/ It just sounds a little off, and with dialogue it's important to take the most realistic approach to it, in my mind. As a fellow writer, I want my readers to be able to 'hear' the dialogue in their head in a believable way.
There was long an acquired silence..
I've never acquired silence...did you intend to use an uncommon word here, in order to draw a unique picture? Or did you mean something else?
...a foetal position.
I think you mean 'fetal' here...
Anyways, I say again that I am not intending to sound mean. I DID enjoy the emotional aspects of this story. I just think that it would be a lot more enjoyable if it had been read over a couple of times with the intention of correcting these common errors. Especially when I was starting to get serious about my writing, I made friends with people who were willing to give me an honest scouring of my work, in order to correct my mistakes. I still make TONS of grammar errors, but they're usually habit, personal style, or overlooked by the common reader. =3 I would love to see these little smudges vanish from your work, in order to let it gleam a bit brighter. I see that this is a recurring problem in your works, and I truly think that you will get more attention once these errors have been vanquished. =3 Thanks for posting this!